Pushing my irate buttons

2006-07-07T15:09:00.000-07:00

Do u get irate easily?

There are certain switches in everybody that turns on the irate button.

For me, one switch that really bumps up the irate mood is when people sit or step on my bed.
i hate it when people step on my bed. I think it's filthy(considering that fact that the person might have walked around and accumulate countless dust,germs and filth) and incredibly inconsiderate of the other party not to spare a thought for the person who owns the bed. I mean, think abt it, a normal person spends an average of 30% of his day in his bed. He can seriously do without the additional dust and dirt.

There was this little incident that really got me spurred up juz a few months ago, which i did not resolve but pushed to the back of mind cos i didn't want to argue. However, a similar incident happened yesterday that jolted back all the negative feelings i had of the situation. Let me share with you what happened.

Many moons ago, I just arrived with a couple of other people who are also on the same program that i am on and we were bunking at my seniors' place. At their generiosty, they offered us beds in their living room(thanks eric, ram and raj!) The beds were placed at a corner with decent space to walk around. Since my bed was placed at the outerside of the corner, i was irated at the fact that the guy who was sleeping on the bed beside me(who later became my roomie) kept stepping on my bed to get to his,even when there was ample space that he could walk to his bed without stepping on mine. I told him one day(mayb too irritatedly) not to step on my bed and he retorted with a " Tell me only when it's your bed"

At that point of time, i was momentarily stumped with part anger and part unbelief (although it was true that at that point of time, the bed really wasn't mine yet. My seniors later gave it to me)but the point was i felt that it was an inconsiderate statement to make. My bed or not, it was still inconsiderate to step on what people were sleeping on. I forgot why i didn't respond then and had left it at that, forgotten till yesterday.

A close friend gave me her bed 2 days ago (cos (1) hers was bettter (2) mine was made of plastic cover and a drag to sleep at night. Any single movement would warrant sounds and i didn't want to wake my roomie up, (3) she was going back to Singapore and had no use for a bed.)

I was delighted at the new bed and was reading on it yesterday when my roomie came across and complimented the new bed. He had his feet stretched out and seemed as if he was about to step on it so i immediatedly warned him to not step on my bed! (with vivid images of the scene from a few moons back flashing back into my mind) He had a look of disbelief on his face and i didn't really explained it to him why i had such a reaction. Instead, i said half jokingly, but seriously meant it - that he had stepped on my last bed, and he was not to step on my new one. I was glad that i did.

However, on retrospect, i wished i could have also told him how i felt about people stepping on places where people sleep. Cos he is a reasonable guy and does listen to reasons. Had i told him that earlier, it would have saved me from a lot of emotional agony. Wasn't it strange that eventhough we stay in the same room, i still find it hard to tell him how i feel? mayb it's precisely because of the distance and the fact that we weren't that close to start off with that one finds it hard? i wonder if best friends bunking together would have the same problem? or even married couples?

So what is the point of my article then?

To offer my two sense worth of solution to such a pushing irate button situation.

So here goes-

1. realise and identify what pushes your irate button
2. be honest with yourself if that irate button is justifiable (cos if not, then really, you could be in the wrong)
3. if yes, nip the irate button at the bud by sharing the reason behind the irateness. in a civilised and rational manner.
4. Be focused and not rake up old debts.
5. Listen to the other party. Really listen. U'd be surprised by the perspective u have neglected to see.
6. Forgive and move on.

or if all things fail, or you cant bring yourself to do it. u can do a me. Blog about it (it is strangely carthasic and theraputic) and hope the other party reads it. lol!

Tell me wat u think?

The 8 million dollar question to your life's purpose

2006-07-07T14:57:00.000-07:00

Do you dread the arrival of sunday evenings?

Do you find yourself having to drag your heavy drowsy body out of bed every morning?
Do you find yourself staring at the clock in your office place watching the
minutes crawl off the clock plate?

If you are, welcome to the reality for almost 82% of world's working population.YOU HATE YOUR JOB~

heck, so what's new, you might ask? then your internal voice starts to go
on the standard drone~~so i hate my job, but at least it brings me the
dough to maintain my current lifestyle, or even survive. All i have to do is grit my teeth
and will time to move faster. No biggie. I DON"T CARE~~~

OR do u?

Say... Wouldn't you like to love what you are doing? ( come on, be honest!)
Now, this is where i come in. But for this story to make sense, i have
to retrace my steps to a couple of days before.. So, come follow me...

A couple of days ago, I stumbled over an advertisment about the local
powerball lottery, which screams 28 Million worth of jackpot. So
i took a tiny trip down imaginary lane and fantasized winning the jackpot.

NIKI'S imaginary lane explained:

After discounting government tax and all, the take home lottery prize
should amount to about 16 million USD. Being the generous soul that
I am (ok, u can barf if you want..sigh..what's the world coming to??
nobody believes generosity anymore..bleah) , i imagined that i wasn't
the sole winner of the jackpot, and that there were in fact, 2 winners!
So, each of us took home the lottery prize of 8 milliion USD.

This is where the fun comes in.'How should i spend the money?' i asked
myself rather seriously.After setting aside an arbitary amount of
5 million dollars for my whole family's retirement fund, i started
to think of how i would use the rest of the 3 million.

Will i still continue on this program that i am on? (yes)
will i quit school? (no)
WHat do i do with the money ? (clueless)

I started to reflect on my dreams and aspirations for what i could
achieve careerwise and wondered if i would still persist on them
even when i have become filthy rich. The answer was a surprising
" I don't know"I have always thought that my career is something
i would love to do for the rest of my life, and it comes from within me,
exclusive of the monetary gains i would have.

And then i realised, if i had that much money, the other option of
not working at all is actually viable. Upon this realization of
the availability of this other option, it struck me that maybe
what i thought i have always wanted to do with my life, has been
primarily financially motivated, and my interests are actually
secondary!

So as it was, I was left with this impending question of " what do i
really want to do, achieve or create, in my life?" Stripped of the
monetary gains, what would i actually want to do with my time?

Fast Forward to present:

And it was from this imaginary trip where i realised a very good and
easy way of discovering whether what you thought you are doing ,
or wanna do, is really what you wanna do in your life.

3 EASY STEPS:

Step 1: Imagine you have 8 Million USD. (or any amount you feel is
enough for you) All your debts have been repaid and, you and
those you love are financially secured for the rest of all your lives.

Step 2: Reflect on the job you are doing now, or wanna do in future
and ask yourself this qn.

"WIth all this money i have, will i still be doing , or want to do what
I have planned to do? "

If yes, congratulations! If no, it's time to to put on ur thinking cap
and honestly look within yourself on what is it that truly interests you.
Take your time and slowly think it through. If you think about it, it's
your life and you are the only person in the world who is genuinely
responsible of how you percieve and want it to be. Remember to
on the filter to filter out what other people want you to be. Just retain
what you want YOU want to be and do! You'd be surprised how many
people want to have a jab in managing your life. Take on the challenge
of ownership. It is after all, YOUR LIFE.I am a firm believer that if you
like what you are doing, somehow or other, you will become proficient
in it. And then, the real big bonus is that you'll become really happy
because you like what you are doing and u excel in it~ It's a sweet cycle!

Step 3:

Write down what you love to do, and.........................................................

Just DO IT!!!!!
(or plan at least 3 different routes on how u can get there ^^)
That's all from me now ..I would love to hear the results of your
exercise. Drop me a mail and tell me~

Personal Development

Pushing my irate buttons

The 8 million dollar question to your life's purpose